my heart beats with the sound of yours
by EriLenx07
Summary: "In the shinobi world, those who break the rules are scum, that's true, but those who abandon their comrades are worth less than the trash under your feet." - Kakashi Hatake. In which Sasuke doesn't go off to Orochimaru alone. Something of a character study. Eventual NaruSasuSaku, dark!Team Seven.
1. Chapter 1

" _Haruno Sakura_

' _Observer'_

 _Origin: Konohagakure_

 _Rank:_ _ **S**_

 _Status: Missing-nin"_

\- Excerpt from Konohagakure's bingo book, last updated August, XXXX.

(i)

Haruno Sakura loved to love. That was never really a question, especially after she first learned to love - after she first found a person _to_ love.

It started with Yamanaka Ino.

When Sakura was younger, she was alone. She was always alone.

 _So alone._

And people kept _hurting_ and _hurting_ and _hurting_ her and oh god, it hurt _so bad_.

But then Ino came, and Ino didn't hurt her.

Ino saved her.

Ino stood up to those girls, those girls who slashed at her soul with their kunai forged of words then hid her blood underneath those disgustingly white smiles and perfectly sharp teeth.

Ino _saved her._

Ino became her friend. She smiled for her and told her things would be okay, that Sakura was pretty and not so ugly that no one should ever, ever look at her.

God, how Sakura had loved Ino.

Then, there was Sasuke.

Sasuke, Sasuke. Sasuke, who had taken one look at those girls that stabbed her fragile heart ( _over and over and over again, please, please MAKE IT StOp)_ and turned his nose up in disdain, made them go quiet with a mere " _only cowards hurt others to make themselves happy_ " and left.

Even when he was so young, Sasuke was always beautiful - the most beautiful thing that she had ever seen. Elegant, unearthly, untouchable.

Everyone loved Sasuke, because they could not have him.

She loved Sasuke because he was so strong, strong enough to be able to chase away the demons with just a few words.

Sakura never told him this, of course. By the time she had gained the confidence to do so, Ino had taught her two things.

One - love is as vicious as it is precious. Ino's love for Sasuke was stronger than her love for Sakura —

 _My love doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Why doesn't it matter, I thought you loved me, why don't you love me…?_

— therefore, Sakura wasn't a friend anymore - she was a weak, weak obstacle. She had to be strong. She had to show Ino that she was strong. Show _Sasuke_ that she was strong.

Which leads us to rule number two - all is fair in love and war and in order to be declared the victor of this disgustingly brutal game that the girls of the Academy were engaged in, one had to be aggressive.

Violent.

Red, after all, is such a delightfully vibrant color and it's very hard not to notice it. It was the color of blood, of Sasuke's eyes in the midst of battle, of her own dress and the liquids she could feel seeping out of her nonexistent wounds.

And so she became loud, noticeable, strong. She had to be on top, had to put up her shields so well that no one knew they were there, had to be so pretty that even _Ino_ ' _s_ words couldn't hurt her anymore.

( _They did_.)

But in her efforts to become strong, she quickly discovered, Sakura had become the _wrong_ kind of strong. She may be beautiful, smart and confident, but she was weak.

 _Shinobi_ weak.

Sure, she was on a team with Sasuke. And sure, she had graduated as the top kunoichi by the strength of her written exam and chakra control.

But that didn't mean that she was any use in battle - that Sasuke and Naruto, of all people, didn't have to pick up the slack because of her weakness.

God, she was so fucking useless.

Sakura hated Naruto, for a while there. She doesn't now, but she did. After all, he was always alone and hated and hurt, just like she had been, just like that weak little thing that needed saving by another little girl who couldn't find any worth in her either, in the end. Sakura looked at him and on some level, she saw herself and god, it made her want to throw up.

But then, then she finally _saw_ him.

He was brilliant, determined, radiant. The world spat at him and all he did was smile right back.

She doesn't know how he does it. She doubts she ever will.

He's strong in a way that she isn't, in a way that she _should_ be, in a way that means that he can stand at Sasuke's side where she cannot.

She wished she could hate him or feel jealous, but she can't. All she can do is watch and act like she always does and hate herself because fuck, she doesn't know _how_ to get better anymore.

She knows all of this about herself. Sakura knows that she's nothing more than a hindrance to anyone now.

But, that still doesn't mean that she's going to just _let_ her utter idiot of a crush go off and be _alone_ like she always is, for fuck's sake.

She can't. She won't. She can't be the weakest link anymore.

"Sasuke-kun," she begins as she stands in front of him, eye to eye. He looks tragically beautiful, she thinks, dark circles over striking obsidian eyes - _fuck, Sakura, don't get lost, don't get lost_ \- and paper-white skin stretched over chiseled features. He looks like a statue; carved from the strongest of stones, only to be beaten and battered over and over again until it was finally about to shatter right down to its very core.

"Sakura," he returns, and somehow she cannot understand the emotion in his voice. There _is_ something there, but she cannot comprehend it. She can't reach across the ever-growing chasm and grasp it and cherish it as she should.

Perhaps that in it of itself is the problem - she _can't_ comprehend him. She doesn't know what it's like to lose everyone she loves and while she does understand betrayal intimately, having watched her best friend slowly drift away and hurt her more and more until Sakura finally broke and declared them not as friends, but rivals, was an entirely different experience compared to, say, _watching your own brother kill your entire clan._

"- you're in the way."

Wasn't she always, though?

"I know," she says simply. The Forest of Death had been an eye-opening experience. Sakura had been powerless, utterly powerless, when Sasuke was on the receiving end of _that_ seal. She had been powerless in battle, powerless in life. But then, then that team from Sound had attacked and suddenly, with his curse-addled mind, Sasuke had come to her defense.

Had nearly _killed_ for her.

And perhaps more importantly, he had given her the power to stop him.

Stop him, she had.

How was it, she wondered, that only when Sasuke was at his worst, when his mind was at its most baseless form, did he finally let her in, if only for a moment? Did that not mean that she _did_ have some kind of worth in his eyes? That she did have some influence?

That perhaps, without the barriers that he has so stubbornly put up, perhaps he _does_ care for her?

( _Care, not love, not love, no one loves her, not him, not Naruto, not Ino, not_ \- )

Something deep inside Sakura is screaming at her. Screaming at her to get down on her knees, to beg him not to leave her behind again like he and Naruto had done for that month of training. She's half-tempted to listen.

But no, that's weak and that's useless. She is a kunoichi. She can do better.

"Sasuke-kun, can I ask you a question?" she says instead of begging like some kind of worthless zealot.

He raises an eyebrow. Sakura takes that as a _would you not ask it if I said no?_

She's gotten pretty good at reading his little ticks, she thinks.

Sakura nods, whether it is to herself or to him or to both, she does not know. "Why do you want to be alone so badly?"

Ah, there it was. The question that had been tearing at her heart for the better of seven years, the question that had always been on the tip of her tongue, battering against the cage of her lips and her reservations and her fears.

The fear that she was saying too much, that he would lash out and hate her ( _even more than he already did_ ), that he would leave her too, now that they were at last, in some way, together.

But now, here he is, about to leave her, getting ready to leave her crying in the dust, she finds that there is no reason not to ask. No barrier, no bitter reservation or any more terror clawing at her than there already is.

She's too weak to make him stay, she knows. Her love was never enough to make anyone stay for her before, either - why would that change now?

What difference would ' _I love you, I love you, I love you, please stay and make a life with me'_ make now?

Sasuke considers her question and for a moment, all Sakura can see is a tired, angry boy who's lost too much to stay afloat. "I need to be strong," he says and she cannot find it within herself to be surprised. "Bonds will only tie me down and make me weaker."

 _No!_ she wants to scream. _They don't! They make you stronger! They make us stronger!_

 _They make me stronger._

You _make me stronger._

But somehow, that look in his eye, so determined and defeated and beautiful, smothers her fire. How can she argue with that? Her knees feel as if they are about to buckle.

"Is that really what you think?" she whispers, the words escaping from her mouth without even so much as a thought.

"Aa."

Sakura resists the urge to laugh. Damn Sasuke and his inability to speak in full sentences whenever he doesn't feel the need to be having a conversation - which was, essentially, always.

She once found it mysterious, his incessant need to keep his every thought a secret - _what is he thinking? Is it about me? Maybe, hopefully, I wish…_

But now, on this dirt road near this damnable bench where no real barriers exist between them but the ones that they created themselves, she finds it kind of sad.

"Aren't we supposed to be teammates?" Sakura wonders aloud. "Isn't the point of being teammates to make each other stronger? Better?"

Well, maybe that's the point of being teammates with Naruto. Being teammates with Sakura is basically like being a glorified bodyguard, but that's beside the point.

Sasuke snorts and it's terribly unfair that such an undignified sound could possibly ring in such a dignified manner. "They are distractions," he informs her and somehow, Sakura gets the terrible feeling that he is trying to convince himself more than he is trying to convince her. "I need to get stronger," he repeats. "You know why."

Yes, yes. _I want to kill a certain man._

How many times have those words run through her head as she attempted to solve her way through the puzzle that is Uchiha Sasuke?

She remembers reading in a book, once, "There isn't only one way to get stronger, Sasuke-kun."

Typical Sakura. Always falling back onto books when the going gets rough, when she doesn't know what to do, even if books are utterly worthless in that terrible thing known as reality.

"This is the fastest way. I have to."

Sasuke isn't very composed this time, she notices. It's odd, but she suspects that he hadn't thought that he'd find anyone legitimately questioning his decisions here.

Certainly not her, not Sakura who had always followed behind him without question, who had always taken his side, always defended his words.

But this Sakura is an entirely different beast.

This is the Sakura who was left behind by the two people she was supposed to trust and rely on most. This is the Sakura who was forced to see her own weakness, time and time again.

This is the Sakura who had to watch the two people she cared for most rush at each other with techniques meant to kill.

This is the Sakura who has finally had enough.

"But, why?" she asked again. Why couldn't he stay and do that here? Get an apprenticeship, learn with the team, spar with Naruto and maybe her if she got better quickly enough?

Sasuke's eye twitched. She was getting to him. For someone so utterly composed all the time, he had a short temper. Especially with Naruto - Sakura found it kind of cute. This evidence of the humanity of the object of her affections.

"Damnit, Sakura," he growls and she has to fight the fond laughter again - geez, she really has lost it.

It is as if everything has finally come crashing down on her, the hurt and the fear and the worthlessness and in the wake of her overwhelming feelings, as the wave finally melted away, almost as if she is detached from the events that surround her.

After all, it's not as if anything she does ever makes a difference anyways.

"I can't stay here." There is a sort of finality in the words, like it was some sort of previously unspoken fact, law.

Unwittingly, Sakura's eyes were drawn to the nearly unblemished skin of his neck.

Unblemished by anything but the scar of evil, of Orochimaru's disgusting desires, whatever they may be, of that damnable curse.

Sakura wonders about what kind of evils the seal is feeding his mind. She remembers the Sasuke that had been produced when the seal had been fully activated - the anger, the hate. Had it always just been simmering below the surface, waiting for an excuse to be let free?

In a way, Sakura thinks she might be able to understand why he can't stay here. How could someone stay in the place where all his loved ones once lived day by day, be assaulted by all the memories of people who he had last seen as brutally murdered corpses?

It's a wonder that he hadn't broken before.

But, somehow, she couldn't just _accept_ that. She couldn't let him go.

Call her a selfish brat, a narcissistic prat, a damnable wretch, but she couldn't do it. Damn her and her love, but she couldn't.

"I see," she sighs, softly, but not defeated. Not yet.

"No," he says and there is something not completely unlike venom in that smooth voice that had always caressed her senses, even as it brought her down again and again. _Annoying_. "No, Sakura. You don't."

"Probably not," she agrees easily enough. "But that doesn't change anything."

"Hn?"

"Take me with you, Sasuke." For once, there is no room for honorifics or any other obstacles between them. It is him and her, teammates. Her life was his the moment that Iruka-sensei had announced the team assignments on that fateful day, just as his belonged to her.

Just as they both belonged to Naruto.

 _Naruto._

 _Those who break the rules are trash, but those that abandon their comrades are far worse than trash,_ Kakashi-sensei once said. The most valuable lesson he had ever taught her, she thinks, given how precious little techniques he had taught her before sending her off to that death trap of an exam that only Sasuke had been even remotely prepared for.

Damned if she does, damned if she doesn't. Leave with Sasuke and fight to keep his sanity from being broken by whatever it is that he's running off for and suddenly she is worse than garbage for leaving Naruto.

Stay and watch Naruto rise to the position of Hokage and she is worse than any scrap of waste lying on the pavement for leaving Sasuke to his fate.

But it'll be okay, probably. It's Naruto. Adversity means nothing to him - every obstacle is burnt away by that blindingly pure smile and every opponent is swayed by his utter brilliance.

He is strong, he is resilient. He can make friends and get support and become Hokage - he has no need for Sakura for any of that. Sasuke, maybe. Sakura, no.

Sasuke stares into Sakura's eyes, boring into them as though he is searching for her sincerity. Sakura figures that if that's what he's looking for then he'll find it easily enough - all she has is her sincerity, nowadays. "No."

So stubborn.

Is she really going to do this? Sakura bites her lip. She _is_ a kunoichi. She _does_ know the basics of emotional manipulation - it's a specialty of her kind, one that has been drilled into her since she was seven at the academy.

Morals have no place in survival, after all.

But then again, is she really supposed to use this against her teammate? Until now, the idea of using what she learned in her kunoichi lessons against anyone from Konoha had never crossed her mind. It was disloyal and amoral - her allies deserved nothing but her honesty.

Her trust.

But then again…

Morals, or Sasuke.

Morals, or _Sasuke_.

Well, when she puts it that way…

"But, Sasuke -" oh yes, she is definitely going straight to hell for this "- aren't you just playing into _his_ hands, by leaving us like this?"

Sakura's logic was simple - Uchiha Itachi killed everyone in his family, except Sasuke. Thus, Sasuke wants revenge, right? But if Itachi's goal was to kill the entire Uchiha clan, then leaving Sasuke alive makes no sense. But, knowing Sasuke's angry, obsessive about strength to the point of self-destruction nature, it's easy to come to the conclusion that Itachi figured that leaving Sasuke to his own devices was just as good of a killing method as any.

In other words, the stupider Sasuke's decisions get, the more likely he is to die. The more likely Sasuke is to die, the more likely it is for Itachi to win.

God, Sasuke can be so dumb. Brilliant, genius, resourceful, but dumb.

Her boys are both terribly dumb. Why does she love them so much again? (And yes, even Naruto, though hell will freeze over before she actually admits that he's grown on her so much).

Sasuke practically bristles at her implication. "I -"

Sakura holds up her hand. "No, just listen to me for a second here." Her voice is trembling and weak under the pressure of her task. Weak. Why is she like this?

Sasuke's eyes are narrowed and she can see the fire burning in them again. Nothing can get him to burn the way that Uchiha Itachi can and Sakura hates it.

"Just… just think about it. Isn't this what he wants? For you to destroy your own life and kill your own spirit so that he doesn't have to?" The tremble diminishes. She is gaining momentum with every word and god, her emotions and desperation are overflowing like they always do. "And then you'll kill him and when that happens -" because it will, she knows "- you're not even going to really be _alive_! What is there to live for if you only have one goal and suddenly it's been completed? Meaningless strength and power? A family that you won't even have the social skills to create?!"

Sakura takes a deep breath, her cheeks reddening in her anger. Sasuke opens his mouth to respond, but she doesn't care. He needs to hear this and she needs to finally, finally say it. "And, and you keep on forgetting that you're human too! You can't break bonds so easily, no one can! So, what if you leave and then he comes and then he kills us because you weren't there to help us get away alive? Because _you_ broke our goddamn team?!"

"Sakura -" Nope, she is on a roll here. She finally, finally gets to say the things that have been nagging at her mind behind the love and ridiculous infatuation, the things that she was too afraid to say before in fear of losing his favor.

" _I'm not done yet_ ," she snaps and god, does it feel good. "You can't do it - you can't just _stop_ caring for me, for _us_ , unless there's nothing left to care _for_ , unless you _kill us!"_

"And if I do that?" Sasuke challenges, obsidian eyes fixed into a passionate glare. "If I kill you now? You're practically _inviting me_ to prove my resolve, Sakura. Is that what you want? You know that I will do anything to achieve my goal."

"Even if it means killing me?" Sakura questions, quieter. God, what an idiot…

"Even if it means killing you."

"Then… you're no better than he is."

And all at once, it was as if all the blood drained from Sasuke's face, as if he was as dead as the rest of his family, rotting away six-feet under. Gone was the passion and in its place was an eerie, blank horror that did not belong on such a perfect face.

Sakura almost felt guilty. Almost.

But really, it just felt too good, to be listened, to be relevant and not useless, for her to actually care. Even if it was horrible that she was using his past and his emotions like this.

Really horrible.

God.

The silence stretched for a few long moments and for just a second, Sakura wondered if she had actually killed him, this love of hers. Should she check his throat for a pulse, for the curse? Has she finally -

"... you're right." His voice is barely a whisper and yet, it carries to her ears like the soft tune of a pleasing lullaby. "You're right," he repeats, as though he can hardly comprehend what is leaving those lovely pale lips.

"I know."

"I'm a moron."

"Mhm."

"I almost became…" He cannot finish his sentence and Sakura understands, for once. The dawning horror that comes with understanding that you have become exactly that which you had previously despised.

Oh, how she understands.

"Yes," she nods, unable to refute it.

Sasuke takes a deep, shuddering breath. "... let's go. We can't stay here."

Sakura nods again. She won't make him stay here, where the reminders burn through every passing second, now that she has realized the torture it must be, living in Konohagakure. "Have you packed your supplies?" She has hers, as usual. It never hurts to be prepared.

He purses his lips slightly. "...I really haven't been thinking very much lately, have I?" he admits, almost sheepishly, but not quite. If Sakura didn't know any better, then she would say that he was about to burst into hysterical laughter at himself, but this is Sasuke and he's not _that_ far gone.

Probably.

Sakura shakes her head, a fond smile playing at her lips. She doesn't know what she's feeling right now. "And here I had thought better of you, Sasuke…" she teases, free, for suddenly, somehow, it is as if her words had finally torn down the barrier.

Oh, _it feels so good._

He rolls his eyes and Sakura can see the tremble in his wrist. She nearly reaches out to hold it, but stops herself. She isn't that far yet, after all.

They turn around, towards the Uchiha District, she thinks. They walk in silence across ghostly streets, damaged and broken and hurting just like they are.

The invasion hadn't been kind to the village, after all.

And what does that say about them, she wonders, that they are oh so willing to go off into the waiting arms of the man who did this all?

To the deadly viper whose poison had destroyed the very foundations of the village they had sworn their lives to?

After all, it isn't hard to guess where Sasuke had intended on going. He needs power, Orochimaru has it. It's simple enough.

The thought disgusts Sakura, burns acid through her blood and makes every step heavier. But it's okay, really.

She loves Sasuke.

It has to be okay.

The shattered streets and bloodstained pavement engrave themselves into her memories and for a moment, she can almost imagine them as they were before when they were clean and bright and lovely in the daylight, as they were tread upon by herself, Kakashi-sensei, Sasuke and -

"Naruto."


	2. Chapter 2

" _Uzumaki Naruto_

' _Ripper'_

 _Origin: Konohagakure_

 _Rank:_ _ **S**_

 _Status: Missing-nin"_

— Excerpt from Konohagakure's bingo book, last updated August, XXXX.

(ii)

Uzumaki Naruto hates the quiet.

He hates how quiet it is whenever he's alone in his apartment (which is pretty much always). He _despises_ how quiet it gets whenever he walks into a store or a restaurant or even on the streets when someone sees him.

And all the lonely lunches and the unanswered questions in the academy and —

Naruto hates the quiet.

So he has to be loud. He has to be loud enough that he can't hear the quiet in his head, so that people can't look away and pretend that they can't see him even though he _knows_ they can!

That's why he _has_ to become Hokage.

 _Everyone_ hears the Hokage. Looks at him. Respects him.

If Naruto can be the Hokage, can be more like the old man, then everyone will see him too. His voice will be the loudest in the entire village.

It just, it just felt so _good_ when people noticed him and talked to him and looked at him. It felt _amazing_ when Jiji paid attention to him and visited and took him out for ramen.

And ramen was only so great because the people who made it at Ichiraku's were so great. They smiled and took his orders and _didn't_ try to poison him with spoiled food (which was _great_ , he could barely even get unexpired milk otherwise) and they asked about his day and they _listened_ to his answers, no matter how long!

Fuck, he really, _really_ loves ramen.

And there's Iruka-sensei, who also takes him out for ramen and helps him with school stuff and gives him all the attention that Naruto thought that teachers were actually supposed to give their students ( _they barely ever did_ ).

And, and, he _knows_ what's _inside_ Naruto and he _still_ cares about Naruto and tries and god, Iruka-sensei is fucking great.

It's people like that that make Naruto feel wanted, like he isn't nothing.

Like he doesn't actually need to make sure that everyone knew that he exists, the way that he knew they all didn't want to.

That's also probably why he likes Haruno Sakura so much - it's not that she's the prettiest girl he's ever seen ( _she is_ ) or that she's the smartest ( _she really, really is_ ), it's that even though she hates him, she doesn't pretend that she can't see him.

She yells at him and hits him when he's being too annoying but at least, at least he _exists_ to her.

Her pretty green eyes actually _look_ at him and fuck, it feels good, especially coming from someone as great as Sakura-chan and come on, he knows that she's great. He's seen her talking to Ino before their fight and he's heard her explaining things to other kids that just don't get what the instructor's talking about.

He's listened to all of the crazy cool questions she asks in class that sometimes even the teachers can't answer, all those perfect explanations when they're going over things in class that help even _him_ , the hopeless dumbass, to understand at least something.

And, and, has anyone ever seen her when she reads books? Under a tree, with no one else around in the courtyard to bother her? He has, sometimes, whenever he got chased off by other kids trying to eat their lunches. Her eyebrows get all furrowed and her lips are pursed and her eyes are all shiny and bright and - it's, it's just really, really pretty.

He wishes he could go over to her whenever he sees her like that, sit down by her side and look over her shoulder at the book in her lap. He's not the best reader, but he tries, so he'd probably have to ask her about what some of the kanji mean and she'd probably roll her eyes, maybe a smile a little in that way that she always does when she gets to show off how smart she is. She'd explain in that matter-of-fact voice and Naruto would understand, for once, because he always gets it when she breaks it down.

It would be so _nice._

Acknowledging that the other person exists is probably a pretty good way to start a relationship, or hell, even a friendship, right? Right.

He just had to figure out how to get her to give him her nicer attentions, that's all.

And then there was Uchiha Sasuke - the prick. It wasn't fair, it wasn't fair how he had _everyone's_ attention and their smiles when all he ever did was turn away and ignore them. He had everything that Naruto would probably kill to get and all he ever did was sneer and pretend it all wasn't there.

Fuck, that bastard made Naruto so angry.

Yeah, sure, Naruto gets that he's supposed to feel bad for Sasuke. He lost his whole family and all, but for all that Naruto had initially wanted to, he _couldn't._

Naruto never got to have a family. He spent his entire life alone and neglected save for a few people, spent _years_ crying himself to sleep before someone had finally smiled at him and told him that it was okay, that he was _worth something_ that wasn't Naruto himself, shouting empty lies to try and stave away the quiet loneliness.

At least Sasuke could remember being loved. Naruto couldn't. And worse yet, there were _so_ many people practically _begging_ to love Sasuke like Naruto begs without words for everyone else to love him.

They all want to tell Sasuke that it's okay, that life goes on, that things get better and that there are people there for him and god, Naruto hates Sasuke.

And as if all that wasn't enough, Sasuke has _Sakura's_ love. It's a little weird and exaggerated compared to the Sakura that reads books with pursed lips and shining eyes, but Naruto knows what it's like to try too hard for someone's attention.

Naruto bets that if Sasuke just let up for a minute and listened to her, then Sakura-the-fangirl would disappear and Sasuke would be left with the Sakura that Naruto so desperately wanted. He knows it and fuck, he hates it.

And he knows that it's wrong, Naruto has nothing in life if not his morals, but it just pisses him off so, so much so - _so_ he —

Naruto lashes out.

He insults Sasuke and picks fights and draws out reactions from the stoic bastard. It doesn't help anything, he knows but -

Naruto can't say that he doesn't like Sasuke-the-human-being, the one that frowns and gets sparks of emotion ( _anger, irritation, victory_ ) better than Sasuke-the-class-god, with that blank face and impenetrable attitude.

It's like the latter isn't even a person at all.

But when he's fighting with Naruto, arguing or sparring or whatever, Naruto can see that he has habits - his eye twitches a little when Naruto goes too far, his left hand is a little shaky when he has to use it because Naruto managed to stop his right, things like that.

Habits that only Naruto gets to see.

And sure, Naruto still hates the bastard, but it's nice to have these little things of him that no one else does.

It makes it feel like they're friends, even if Naruto knows that they aren't.

And for all that Naruto had complained when Sasuke was assigned to his team, he had actually been just as ecstatic as when he found out that he had _Sakura_ as his teammate too.

Both of the people who gave him attention were on his team for _life._

After all, Iruka-sensei once told him that genin teams were forever, even if they got dissolved once they got to a certain rank. These were the people that he would rely on during missions, make friends with and go out for food with during his free time.

These were _his_ teammates and Naruto could spend forever being looked at, and perhaps even eventually _cared for_ by them.

Sure, they all acted like they hated each other in the beginning, but there were little things. Like how when Naruto and Sakura got themselves into some mess or another during D-ranks, Sasuke would always stay behind until he was sure that they were okay.

He cared, Naruto eventually learned, and that was enough. More than enough.

And whenever Naruto made a mistake, which was _a lot_ , Sakura always corrected him. She explained what he was doing wrong, showed him what was right, and sure, she wasn't too happy about doing it at first, but the heat gradually disappeared and somehow, her words started to feel… warm.

It was the best feeling in the whole world.

And, and, it was _fun_ having them on his team! Like when they were all trying to figure out what was behind Kakashi-sensei's mask, that one time! They were all working together and making up crazy plans and, and it was so, so great.

It made him so happy, just spending time with them and doing their best to get that one, completely unimportant thing done just because they wanted to do it. If this was what having friends was like, then he never, ever wanted to let go of them.

In fact, call him greedy, but he wanted even more.

That's why he made friends with Haku so quick, because he had felt like a good person even if Naruto knew that he was on a mission and he should probably be a bit more careful than this.

But this is Naruto's life here and since when do things ever really go right for Naruto?

Never.

So Haku turns out to be an enemy nin and dies for the sake of the person that he loves most, like Naruto would for people like Jiji and Iruka-sensei and Ayame and Teuchi, like his teammates and hell, probably the whole damn village, and Naruto's faith in humanity is briefly shaken by the plight of Wave's people, of Gato's cruelty and the way that the sick bastard hurt so many people for the sake of some quick cash - but again, this is Naruto.

Naruto learns that everyone needs a hero at some point in their lives and that to be a good ninja is to be a hero for everyone who needs one - because even though Haku died before Naruto could be his hero and take down Gato, the rest of Wave was so happy and grateful towards Team Seven for their deeds.

It felt good to be the hero, for once.

But that isn't all that Naruto learns.

Naruto learns what true terror is too, on that terrible, horrible day in Wave, when it looked like Sasuke was dead and gone and, _and_ -

Naruto couldn't deal with Sasuke being gone. Couldn't deal with the idea that there would be no one to fight with and compete with and to pretend not to care when all the signs pointed to him caring a whole lot.

To be Naruto's best friend, because who else could possibly fill that role? Who else would ever care about Naruto enough to _die_ because he had taken a hit for _Naruto._

 _Sasuke had stepped in front of_ Naruto _, so that he would die instead of_ him _and —_

It had felt so cold, the thought that he could be alone again - like ice was gripping his heart and stabbing his chest over and over again a hundred times per second - because if Sasuke could die, then so could Sakura and Kakashi-sensei and, and…

Naruto lost it.

He just felt so angry and scared and all he could see was red, all he could hear was the damned demon fox's laughter in his head and when he came to - he almost killed his friend.

Haku.

Sure, he stops himself, and sure - Sasuke wasn't _actually_ dead - but Haku still died and Naruto still learned.

Fear. Fear of himself - and the determination to never let the fox take control of his anger and hurt others ever again, too - and more importantly, fear of losing people he cared about.

But it would be okay. His team was still alive and with him and that was all that mattered, right?

Right.

He believed it.

Then, the Chuunin Exam happened.

Fuck the Chuunin Exam.

Naruto went into that exam all bright eyed and determined, with Sakura and Sasuke by his side and with Kakashi-sensei and Iruka's faith. He went in with the strength of knowing he was capable, of knowing that at least someone cared about him.

That he had friends. That he _can_ become Hokage and that this was just another stepping stone.

He left the exam with another friend, one who understood his pain and one that he had helped to overcome it. Gaara, a fellow jinchuuriki. Gaara, who had so much to live for now, who could get so much better now. Naruto even had a summoning contract now, with his own familiars - _toads! The best animal in the whole world!_ \- and someone to teach him even more things (even if the man is a totally unrepentant pervert)!

Naruto wishes that that's all that had happened.

But no. He came out of those exams with a cursed teammate - who was all angry and unstable and hurting even more now, like a whole different person and —

 _The Hokage died._

Jiji, who had had faith in him and gave him an apartment and took him out to ramen and cared about Naruto for as long as he could remember…. was dead.

It hurt. It hurt so bad. There was this big hole in his chest where every warm feeling and memory of the Hokage he had was supposed to be and it was like they were all gone, six feet under with the old man himself.

It was like Sakura was gone too - her eyes all dull and tired whenever Naruto saw her, so distant and small, like she couldn't trust herself to take up any more space than she had to.

Everyone was broken, in this world without the Hokage. Naruto couldn't take it, really, this grief bearing down on his soul as he looked around his beloved village. Normally, he would have protested more over leaving, especially when he knew that Konohagakure needed him. Needed everyone.

But it hurt and he was scared, and even if he is a shinobi, even if shinobi are supposed to be strong, damnit, he still feels like crying.

He still feels like a kid. Like he's a little thirteen year old boy who hasn't been eating enough his whole life, like he's still a few inches too short for a shinobi his age.

( _He is_.)

But Naruto can't cry. He isn't allowed to cry. He's a shinobi. A soldier.

He can't let _them_ see him cry.

So when Jiraiya said that they were going to go off on a journey to find the next Hokage, Naruto didn't really protest. He had to get out, had to get out before Sakura and Sasuke could see him be weak.

Had to leave before the weight of Kakashi-sensei's hospitalization crushed him, before the guilt of finally _seeing_ Uchiha Itachi and the horrifying power that destroyed Sasuke every single second of everyday sucked away the happiness of Naruto's memories of the academy.

Naruto wasn't really sure what to expect of this next Hokage, of the ero-sennin's teammate. Maybe he should expect someone warm, like they are ( _were_ ), who will care about him a lot like they do ( _did_ ). Someone powerful and wise, with twinkling tired old eyes and odd habits that he probably shouldn't find as endearing as he does.

Senju Tsunade is none of that.

She is a broken, pathetic gambler of an alcoholic. She is a medic that won't heal, an old woman that looks too young like she's running away from the years that have gone by. She looks nothing like the woman that Naruto remembers Sakura reverently rambling about weeks before everything went to hell.

Naruto can't quite remember hating someone more than he hates her, this disappointment of a possible Hokage. This traitor to the Will of Fire - who abandoned their village when it needed her and is trying to abandon it again when it needs her even more.

" _Hokage_ ," she had snorted with disgust. " _That damn hat kills everyone that puts it on and then some. Is dying really your dream, brat? Is that what you're fighting for?_ "

Jiraiya is staring at her the way that Naruto probably stared at Sakura and Sasuke after the invasion went down, longing for someone who wasn't quite there anymore.

He isn't sure what it is that makes him act, that makes him want to prove this woman wrong, to make her own up to her duty, that gives him the brash courage that he needed to challenge her to that bet.

Maybe it was sympathy for the ero-sennin's all too relatable plight. It might have been the knowledge that Tsunade was the old man's student, that maybe, maybe havin' her as Hokage would be like having _him_ back, just a little bit…

It doesn't matter. He does it, he wins, things happen.

(He really, really doesn't want to think about Orochimaru - the man who ruined it all - and their encounter. He can't dwell on it. He can't stay angry - they need him to smile. His team, Jiraiya, Tsunade. _They need him to smile_.)

He takes to calling the new Hokage 'baa-chan' because it makes his heart hurt a little less. It's probably disrespectful and cruel to the memories, but it makes Naruto feel a little better and he's allowed to be a little selfish, right?

Right. He believes it.

Everything will be okay.

Except it isn't and he and Sasuke come to blows when Naruto gets back and it's like… it's like they were trying to _kill_ each other and that's, that's not what Naruto wants _at all_ , he just wants things to be like they used to be.

He just wants to be a _team_ again.

And that, perhaps, is the reason why he's out here alone at night, looking for Sasuke.

Naruto's original thought had been to go find Sakura, because _something_ was wrong with her and he didn't know what it was and he _needed_ to fix it - but then he realized that he didn't actually know where she lived.

Then he figured that the next best thing was to go talk to Sasuke, maybe get over himself for a few minutes and say ' _sorry_ ' even though he didn't quite know why _he_ needed to be the one to apologize when it was all the bastard's fault.

Naruto just… Naruto just didn't want to be alone, that's all.

They'd make up and maybe Sasuke would calm down and tell Naruto what was wrong. Maybe they'd talk about it or fight some more like friends do and everything would be okay again. Then Naruto would tell Sasuke about Sakura, and he'd get worried too and pretend not to be worried like he always does.

Then they'd do something, anything, to get her to go back to normal too. Maybe they'd go get her a gift - girls like those, right? - and give it to her, something suitably _Sakura_ like a book on some obscure chakra thing.

Then maybe she'd be happy again and her eyes would light up like they used to and Sasuke would roll his eyes and act like he wasn't happy that his teammates were happy.

It would be like the way things always were between them, and god, Naruto just wanted things to go back to normal.

But then it turned out that Sasuke _wasn't_ at the hospital like he should have still been or at his house in the Uchiha district. That probably wasn't a good thing.

And so, Naruto searched and he searched, all throughout the nearly abandoned streets of the village with a quickened pulse and dread in his blood because fuck, he didn't want to lose him, please _no —_

"Naruto."

Oh, thank god. "Bastard," Naruto greeted. "Oh, hey you're here too, Sakura-chan!"

Something's wrong. Naruto doesn't know what it is, but Sasuke looks pale and shaken and Sakura looks… Naruto doesn't actually know how to describe the look in her eyes. Scared? Calm? It's just…

"No duh," Sakura laughs and Naruto feels very, very confused because that does _not_ sound like Sakura's normal laugh. In fact, it sounds better, more genuine with a touch of something else that Naruto can't quite get and it sets Naruto even further on edge. "Where else would I be?"

Something happened. It was so fucking weird, looking at this terribly fragile Sasuke and this oddly relaxed Sakura. Naruto forces himself to smile back.

"In bed, like everyone else," Sasuke snarks back and okay, that's new. Since when do these two banter? They usually argued like this with _him_ , not each other. This wasn't their dynamic.

"Maybe I'm not like everyone else," she says fondly. Naruto still doesn't know what the fuck is actually going on here. "Maybe I have to go betray all of my own ideals and -"

"You are never going to let me live this down, are you?" Sasuke asks, looking towards the sky as if praying for lightning to strike him down that very moment and exhaling.

Naruto's jaw must have dropped at some point and vaguely, he wondered if he was dreaming.

"It's not like I'm actually wrong," Sakura says, glancing at Naruto uncertainly, guiltily, and for a second there, the old Sakura, the Sakura from just two months ago was back.

Sasuke 'hn's non-committedly. Naruto listens to those words and sees the look in those pretty green eyes and the set of Sasuke's slim shoulders and —

"Guys?" Naruto asks, uncertain. Something feels wrong and the fear is starting to curl up in his chest. Something changed again and the last change was _so fucking bad_. "What's going on?"

They share a look. Sakura's lips move for a second, but no sound comes out, as though she is afraid to tell him some truth or another and Naruto wishes that she could just tell him that everything is okay, that they were going to go get a middle of the night snack and that he should join them.

Sasuke breaks the silence. "We're leaving," he says simply and it is as if those two words are icy needles, stabbing Naruto's chest.

"Oh," Naruto says dumbly, dumbly as he always does. "Where, where are we going?"

 _We_. Naruto is a part of _we_ , right?

"Naruto…" Sakura trails off, her voice caressing his name as though she is trying to soften some back-breaking, paralyzing blow. "Naruto… we're… you're not supposed to come."

No, no, no, no, _no_ — "Why not?" Naruto demands. They can't leave him, please no, Jiji already did and so did Haku and, and Naruto didn't want to, couldn't, lose anyone else that he cared about!

"You're going to be Hokage," Sasuke says, as if it is a simple fact of life and something in Naruto swells with joy at the faith. "You can't do that if you leave now."

Naruto wants to throw up. "But —"

"Naruto," Sakura cuts in. "Naruto, you have a dream, unlike us. You have something to strive for. We have to go but… you should stay."

But, why, oh why did they have to go? Naruto needed them, damnit! They were his friends, his team, the people he relied on and cherished.

"But…" Hokage? He had thought that he only ever wanted to be Hokage to protect his precious people, said it multiple times, but that wasn't true. He had wanted to be Hokage before he had ever had more than one precious person. He, he just wanted to be listened to and cared for, just wanted friends, just wanted people to stop ignoring him.

He had just wanted to be the one person that no one could ever silence.

Silence the quiet going on in his head, in his life.

But, but, what was being Hokage even worth _without_ his precious people? What did any of it even mean without his teammates being there to enjoy the realizations of his dreams with him?

What point was there to it all if Sakura wasn't there to correct his mistakes, to make sure that he didn't irrevocably fuck up the village somehow? Or without Sasuke's quiet snarky jabs and his odd ability to push Naruto further and further, to be better and better?

Naruto couldn't even recall the last 'Hokage' daydream he had that didn't have older versions of his teammates in it. He couldn't see a future without them, didn't even want to think about it.

"I don't want to be Hokage if you guys aren't there to do it with me."

Sakura's mouth forms a perfect 'o' of surprise, as though she can't comprehend what he was saying. Naruto could hardly believe it himself.

Sasuke looked shaken, but he met Naruto's stare dead on. "You don't know what you're saying."

"Stop underestimating me, Sasuke!" Naruto argued back hotly. "I'm not that dumb. I know _exactly_ what I'm saying."

Tears began to form at the corners of Sakura's eyes and Naruto could see Sasuke's fists tremble. "Naruto," she began, voice sad and trembly and altogether unlike the teasing tone that she had given Sasuke just a few minutes ago. "We're going to… we're going to Orochimaru."

Naruto froze. No, no, that was wrong. There was something wrong with his ears. That can't be right.

Sasuke nodded along, his eyes both determined and tired. His fist was still shaking. "I have to. For power, to defeat _him_ and -" Sasuke takes a shaky breath, "- I can't stay here anymore. I… I can't do it anymore."

That last sentence was barely audible.

This is the curse talking. Naruto knows it - his Sasuke would never just _leave_ the village like this.

His Sasuke doesn't give up so easily, no matter how hard it might be.

"He killed Jiji," Naruto says, his voice barely a whisper. "He killed him and, and you want to go to him? Sasuke, you can't just —"

"I can and I will," Sasuke interrupts. "This is my decision, Naruto."

 _I can't do this anymore._

It had been barely even a breath, but Naruto had heard. He always had good hearing. _Do what?_

Naruto didn't know.

"I'm coming too," Sakura says, a little stronger. "I won't… I won't just leave him alone. Naruto… you're strong. Stronger than me. You'll be fine without us."

No, no he won't. He can't, he can't just go on without them - they need to be _together,_ god…

"I…" Naruto pauses. There is nothing worth more than Sakura and Sasuke. And, maybe, maybe if they go - maybe they can get rid of the curse, get their Sasuke to go back to normal, come to his senses. Trick Orochimaru into taking it off or whatever - learn its secrets, _something._

Maybe, just maybe, this is a good thing. A mission. An infiltration mission.

Yeah, that's what this is. Right. It's, it's not actually a betrayal.

Right. _Believe it._

"I'm coming too, _believe it_."

* * *

 **A/N**

 **Can you believe that I typed this all out in one day? Pumpkin cappuccino highs are the best thing ever, seriously.**

 **To be clear, this story is going to be told from the points of view of Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke, with the occasional insights from other relevant characters.**

 **No actual romance will occur until around Shippuden, as they are** _ **way**_ **too young to be forming relationships like that as of this moment. Thus, you can consider this to be something of a slow-burn.**

 **Please feel free to leave a review, I would love to hear what you guys thought of this!**


	3. Chapter 3

_"Uchiha Sasuke_

 _'Death's Angel'_

 _Origin: Konohagakure_

 _Rank:_ _ **S**_

 _Status: Missing-nin"_

 _—_ Excerpt from Konohagakure's bingo book, last updated August, XXXX.

(iii)

Uchiha Sasuke is an empty shell.

Well, not exactly empty, per se, but he wishes he was. He wishes he was empty so that he could stop hurting and so that all the memories would go away.

He wishes he could forget his mother's warm embrace and his father's stern glares and his brother's gentle smiles and forehead pokes and —

 _No_. No. That - that's not right. Glassy eyes and bloody chests and tears set into the corners of —

 _No_. Fuck, there were no tears, he saw no tears, _stop it_ \- he had been imagining things.

They were gone, all gone, every last member of his clan -

 _I wanted to test myself against them - that's why, foolish little brother._

Some test that was, murdering babies in their sleep. Slaughtering family members that loved _him_ too much to fight back.

Fuck, they had been close ( _were they?_ ), why hadn't he seen this coming? He should have. He has eyes - that's all an Uchiha is supposed to need.

But he didn't - he couldn't. If he hadn't been so utterly and disgustingly blind with his damnable hero-worship of that man - then maybe, _maybe_ —

Fuck it. _Maybe_ isn't going to get him anywhere. And neither will this damned apartment in the district and coddling caretakers that he's been saddled with.

Power. Power, on the other hand? Now, _that_ is something that can change things.

That is what will redeem him.

That is what will avenge _them_.

So he trains and he trains, absorbs every single goddamn word of his lessons and takes down every opponent in the academy. He tries to ignore everyone who keeps prying for his attention - the teachers, the fangirls, the idiots who thought they could understand _him (ha)_ enough for friendship ( _what a worthless distraction_ ).

Pity for his tragic past. Obsession with his good looks. Jealousy over his talent and his heritage. Pointless, childish determination to beat him for no other reason than to be able to say that they had beaten the last Uchiha.

Sasuke saw it all.

 _Children, all of them._

He hasn't been able to understand children in a long time - not since _that_ day. He doesn't get how they waste time so easily ( _how he used to_ ) or the way that they can treat something as important as training so casually.

Take, for example, Nara Shikamaru. The Nara clan is known for being amongst the most intelligent of Konohagakure - they run pharmaceuticals, have multiple holdings in Research and Development and their clan head is even the current jonin commander.

And yet, their heir is entirely lacking. The boy is lazy and unmotivated - barely a step up from dead-last.

It wasn't like the brat wasn't as intelligent as he was supposed to be, he was and one would have to be blind not to see it, but he didn't use it. He had an advantage, a way to be a better ninja that wouldn't fail the way that Sasuke already has, but he didn't even _think_ about using it.

It's sickening.

And then there was the real dead last, Uzumaki Naruto.

Sasuke didn't get it, how someone could possibly fail so badly in nearly every task presented to him and still insist that they are a perfectly good shinobi. How someone so damn _loud_ could dare to even think himself capable of stealth. Of _power_.

It was always the quiet ones, you know.

But it didn't matter, apparently. Uzumaki kept trying and trying and fuck, it was just so _annoying_. Couldn't he see that there was no point? That anything less than perfection was just going to get him lying on some cold, dirty old floor in a pool of his own blood?

And he kept trying to _fight_ Sasuke, the top of the class. The dead-last, going after the near-certain Rookie of the Year. If Sasuke had any less composure than he did then he'd probably be rolling on the floor laughing every time it happened.

Ridiculous.

And it was, the first few times that it happened. Then he improved a bit, and he kept improving and improving.

Sasuke didn't know how to feel about that - the dead-last getting better. Becoming a legitimate rival, of sorts. Maybe… something like a friend? He didn't know, he doesn't have friends.

Shouldn't have friends.

But Sasuke's starting to think that he doesn't mind all of the challenges and fights so much and no, that's not a good thing. He doesn't need friends. Can't have friends.

 _That man_ will probably come back and kill them all if he does. It's - it's not worth it.

It's not.

It's cold, Sasuke knows. So cold. The path that he's chosen - the only path that he can take anymore. In his moments of weakness, he allows himself to admit that yes, he does like Uzumaki's attention, a bit. Just a bit.

It's warm, the heat that sears through his veins with every challenge he partakes in against the blonde.

It's the only warmth he has left.

So he pretends to hate it, pretends to radiate displeasure ( _what kind of a shinobi child hadn't mastered the game of "pretend" before they ever entered the academy?_ ) when he finds that Naruto and a fan girl, Haruno Sakura, are his new teammates.

It could have been worse, he decides. He could have lost Uzumaki's heated competition, been relegated to no more than a memory in the blonde's mind like the rest of the Uchiha have become in the eyes of the village.

He could've been stuck with a much less intelligent fan girl too, honestly. Sure, Haruno may be annoying as hell, but she does have a brain for analytics that he admits to feeling a bit jealous of when she actually does use it - _why_ she doesn't and why she chooses to obsess over him instead of improving as a kunoichi is beyond him.

Or perhaps worse, he could have ended up with Hyuuga Hinata - Hyuuga Hinata who can't stand even an ounce of her clan's pressures, who can barely speak above a whisper for over a second, with that damned _stutter_ , who pitifully obsesses over Uzumaki from a distance like some kind of fucking _stalker_ —

… yes. It really could have been much worse, he decides.

He supposes their sensei isn't _terrible_ either - sure, Kakashi apparently couldn't be on time to save his goddamn life, but at least the man wasn't weak by any means. They could probably learn something from him.

And for all that he silently said that he hated D-Ranks, he couldn't say that he didn't find any enjoyment in them at all - it was kind of nice, not being alone. Watching Naruto and Sakura bicker was slightly entertaining. He doesn't really mind all the races that Naruto challenges him to either - it's not bad.

It's really not bad.

And okay, yes, there may be a reason why he doesn't protest to Naruto dragging him and, by proxy, Sakura to that ramen stand all the time.

It's kind of like those family dinners that he used to have. Just… just not. These people were… his, he supposes, in a way that his family never was.

(Not that he doesn't, didn't, love his family, it's just… they just… it's different.)

This was a good place to be, for the moment, as he gets stronger, he decides. He's not that attached, not really, Sasuke could easily discard them whenever he wants.

Of course he can.

He can.

But until the time comes for him to do so, he doesn't mind sticking around. He's not quite S-Rank, but he's getting there. He trains and trains and grows stronger day by day.

It's good, he thinks.

At least, until reality hits him like a torrent of frigid water.

It was supposed to be easy, so easy. Just escort the old drunk back home - a more time-consuming version of the duty that his clan had once performed, all those years ago. They hadn't minded doing it, so he didn't mind it either.

But then they were attacked by missing-nin and suddenly, it wasn't so easy anymore.

But that was fine too - Sasuke is strong, isn't he? He can take it. He can take them on. He can take them all on. They have _nothing_ on _him_.

Oh, how wrong he was. The chuunin were easily dispatched, pathetic. His strength was validated, or so he had thought.

But as it turns out, it isn't that he's not _quite_ S-Rank.

It's that he's not even close to it. It's that he shakes when the air is saturated with killing intent, that he freezes when a demon is standing right before him.

Oh, sure, he recovers. And yes, fine, he survives, but really, truly - what did he do? What could he have done? The fight was over for him before it had truly begun, for this poor, fresh _genin_ that he was.

He may not have been completely useless like Sakura, but the fact remained that in their initial encounter with Zabuza, Naruto had been the one making the plans. Kakashi had been the one to actually fight the man. Haku had dealt the "final blow" (and Sasuke had actually _believed_ that? This lie that played out before his very eyes?)

And, and, Kakashi, who isn't even an _Uchiha_ , has the _Sharingan_ of all the fucking kekkei genkai, can use it as well as any clansmen of his ever could -

God, if there was anything in the world that could make Sasuke feel any more worthless than this, then he never wants to see it. This is enough.

He has to be better.

But then again, how could he be better if he couldn't do something as simple as walk up a tree on his first try?

 _Sakura_ could do it.

Sure, on an intellectual level Sasuke knows that Sakura has more than enough ability to be an actual legitimate threat, but she makes use of so little of that ability that it's hard to think of her as anything more than an annoying liability in a fight.

To have to watch the liability surpass him so easily, to be beaten in a split second by a _fangirl_?

Fuck, as if he needed any more reminders about where he actually is right now. _Weak_. So weak.

When _that_ _man_ was his age, he was an ANBU captain, as Sasuke's father had never failed to praise. He was already so strong, so capable, unparalleled. A prodigy.

Sasuke was supposed to be a prodigy too, right?

So then, why was, why wasn't he…?

Why were Sasuke's eyes still black at thirteen when _his_ had been red before _he_ had ever even turned ten?

It doesn't mean anything, Sasuke tries to tell himself. It didn't mean anything, his Sharingan not being there.

It meant everything, he screams at himself, when his Sharingan finally awakens, when he finds himself outclassed on that bridge yet again. When everything became so much _clearer_ , when he could see everything - the energy, the movements, _chakra itself_. It was so much easier now, guiding the flames out of his mouth, striking faster, stronger.

He could see it all.

He was like a _god_ , with this Sharingan of his.

He could do this - he could defeat this frozen wretch of an assassin. He could do it all on his own. Naruto didn't need to help him at all. The blonde could just sit back, relax and see exactly what it was that had made Sasuke "Rookie of the Year" and what didn't make Naruto anything more than 'dead-last".

He should have. He really, really, really should have. Because if he had, then he wouldn't have come so close to dying, after all.

It was a reflex, Sasuke defends himself later, jumping in front of that idiot. It - it wasn't that Sasuke cared all _that_ much about Naruto's life - it, it isn't like Sasuke couldn't imagine a life that didn't have that dumbass annoying the shit out of him everyday, like Sasuke couldn't stand breaking that little bit of perfect that he finally managed to obtain for himself, after, after…

He could, he swears. His revenge, his power, it's more important. He doesn't need them. They're just a momentary pleasure, Sasuke wills himself to believe, just a stepping stone in his final goal of defeating _that man_.

Saving him like that… was just a little counterproductive whim. That's all. That's _all_.

It - he - _they_ , don't matter. This just proves what he had initially thought - people are an unnecessary liability and Sasuke is better off without them. He'll make chuunin and never have to see any of them again, right? Right.

Sasuke wants to scream.

The chuunin exams were supposed to be a cinch - get in, keep those two idiots from dying (not because he needs them and fuck, can he please just stop caring already?) and get out with that nice new vest and a sharp, fresh kunai to cut away all those bonds of his, these chains that tied him down and kept him away from his true goal.

But what he gets is yet _another_ reality check, when Rock Lee's speed surpasses his ability to react even with the Sharingan. Reveals a flaw that isn't supposed to exist. How dare Sasuke not know it existed? How dare he be so _weak_?

Then, just to add insult to injury, that green bastard goes and asks for Sakura's feelings. As if outclassing Sasuke's taijutsu suddenly gives him a right to the same feelings that were reserved solely for Sasuke.

It didn't matter, Sasuke never wanted those feelings anyways, but on some level, they were _his_ , they were given solely to _him_ \- Sasuke tells himself that he doesn't feel even remotely satisfied when she rejects Lee. At all.

The exam is going well, he thinks, in the second task. They take down all of their opponents. They aren't fooled by the tricks of others.

They're doing well. Sasuke will be able to leave them behind soon, he decides.

Oh, how wrong he was, letting himself get so complacent. Letting that, that _monster_ sink its teeth into his flesh. Taint his chakra. How weak of him - how could he ever consider himself a match for _him_ now?

There's this voice in his head. It whispers and it shouts and it screams and he can't hear himself think anymore. It's there, it's always there, even when he sleeps.

 ** _Do yOu SeE tHAt?_** it asks as Sasuke watches Sakura try to die for him. As he watches her try to defend him against opponents she wasn't ready to face, sees her skin become littered with **_red, rEd, RED_** scars - and **_tHeY're cutting her, LOOK! LOOK! TheY're going to take what's YOURS, yOUrs, just like HIM -_**

Sasuke snaps, and with him snap the arms of that **_intERLOPER,THIEF, kill, kILL, KILL_** and oh, _how he wishes to snap that_ _ **fucking neck**_ _, oh he_ _ **will**_ -

" _Stop_."

 _What?_ _ **No!**_ _Why would - they_ _ **tOUchEd her**_ _,_ _ **STaiNed HER**_ _, how dare they, he h_ _ **as to, has to get reVENGE**_ _for_ _ **HER**_ _!_

"Please, _Sasuke-kun, this isn't_ -"

Isn't _what? She - she's_ _ **hurt, they're DAMAGING her, he must, he must**_ -

" - _you_."

 _You? Me? This is - of course_ _ **it IS**_ _-_

Oh. There are two voices in his head ( _one of them isn't_ _ **mine**_ ) and Sakura's arms are around his waist and oh, that feels so good, he lost control, fuck, that's not good, that's **_weak_**?

The team from Sound runs away with their tails between their legs and Sasuke is glad that Naruto hadn't been awake. He, he didn't - he didn't need to see that.

That weakness.

Sasuke plays it off, waves off Sakura's concerns, tries to shove the voice down because he _will not_ **_be conTrOlled_**?

He can still fight, still test himself against these shinobi, the voice doesn't control him!

( _It doesn't. It_ _ **does**_ _n't._ )

Sasuke pretends that he isn't relieved when Kakashi suppresses the seal, when the voice is so low that he can finally hear himself think again.

But it's still _there_ , kind of - he doesn't hear it, but he can _feel_ it, right down to his very bones. **_Power, power, power_** , it doesn't whisper.

It gets easier to ignore it over the month-long training period, Sasuke thinks. Sasuke knows he wants power. He has always wanted power. This, this isn't news. He _doesn't_ need the reminder - he is the one with this desire, not that god damn voice.

Uchiha Sasuke is strong. Uchiha Sasuke is independent. His thoughts are his own.

They are, damnit.

The rush, the strength and the speed, provided by the curse is tantalizing, Sasuke can admit. But - but, he doesn't need it. He doesn't need it, right? He has the Chidori, he has his Sharingan, he has his fire and his own two legs.

He **_does_** n't need it.

He is enough. He is more than enough to challenge that man, he is more than enough to stop him from hurting _his_ team ( _is he?_ _ **Yes**_.). It just figures, really, that _he_ would be interested in stealing away **_Sasuke's_** idiot.

( _Hasn't he taken enough?_ )

Sasuke can't, won't, let _him_ have anymore. He won't. He **_refuses_**.

So he rushes after Naruto, tries to get there first. Sasuke's kept him from the reaches of death before. He can snatch him away from the bloodied hands of death's very personification.

He is Uchiha Sasuke. He can do this.

He hadn't changed all that much, Itachi, ani- _that man_. There were still lines of stress under his eyes, gentling that sharp face where they had only made their father's face harsher. It's unfair, Sasuke thinks. It should have been the opposite. It shouldn't - Sasuke shouldn't -

 _ **I hate him**_ _._

 _(Yes, he does, he does, of course he_ _ **does**_ _.)_

The birds whistle in his ears, the lightning rushes through his blood. The Chidori is an infamous technique - the perfect killing blow. Combined with the Sharingan - it should work. It should kill him.

It doesn't.

It doesn't and Sasuke is brushed off. As if he is nothing, as though he is weak ( ** _aren't you?_** ) and then - _those eyes_ -

Sasuke supposes he deserved this, for being too weak. This punishment, this reminder of his drive - having to watch. Over and over and over again as his parents are stabbed and beaten and killed.

How dare he, how dare Sasuke be so weak - how dare he just _let_ that man do this to him…

He has to be stronger. He has to get revenge. The images burn through his mind and suddenly, nothing else matters - power, power, power. What friends? What team? There is only his goal.

There is only _him_.

Isn't there? Sasuke may need to focus on getting stronger, but he is still a genin of Konohagakure. He still has a team ( _sure_ ) and he still has to go on missions.

He doesn't enjoy them. He can't enjoy anything. It's just a distraction, they are just a distraction. It doesn't matter if the voice gets so quiet when he's with them, and the doubts in the back of his mind must be squashed down.

He thinks he might be starting to actually like the voice now, the cursed chakra's influence. At least it has its priorities straight.

The voice is silently ringing in his ears as he sits in the hospital, the sealed off voice that never quite left him. It's almost deafening, the burning rage - Naruto is getting stronger and stronger, that weak dead last _idiot_ that Sasuke is supposed to be the one to protect.

And yet, here he is, weak and defenseless in this hospital - depending on others for their protection. It's sickening, **_he is sickening, weak, weak, weak_** -

No, **_no_** , he isn't like this! He doesn't need any help, he never needed any help. He _is_ ( ** _will be_** ) strong.

He can prove it. He will prove it. To himself, to _him_ , to the team that he doesn't need.

"Fight me," Sasuke says and he can feel the burning anger roaring in his veins. Anger towards himself for being weak, _him_ for brushing off every ounce of Sasuke's power, at _them_ for standing in the way of his one and only true goal. " ** _Shut up and fight me._** "

Something in Sasuke thrummed with an odd sense of _this is wrong_ , but that was silly - defeating Naruto was something that he had to do. He had to show him who was stronger - had to come out on top. He is the strong one.

He is.

He pretends he doesn't notice the dawning horror in Sakura's eyes, pretends that she doesn't have any idea of what's going through his head. It's easier, to ignore that feeling when he ignores Sakura. She is far too good and there is no room for _good_ in his quest for strength.

The bullshit spewing out of the idiot's mouth doesn't hurt either. The odd feeling is crushed as the blonde continues to fuel the flames, feeding the rage.

Sasuke needed to shut him up already. Those words, those _**damn words**_ _-_

 _Equal standing._

 _Ninja of Konohagakure._

 _You're so weak, Sasuke!_

 _ **Be quiet, damnit. Quiet!**_

 ** _Chidori_**. The ultimate silencer. The perfect killing technique. The one he just used against…

( _no, no, no, no, I didn't_ -)

A distraction.

 _Quit seeking revenge, Sasuke_ , Kakashi says. **_QuIt SeeKIng REvEnge?_** Ha. Oh, how Sasuke wishes to break into hysterical laughter. Yes, yes, that's _exactly_ what he should do. Stop training, stop fighting, stop _living_ because what more is there to life than **_revenge_**?

 _Nothing._

These people and their damnable attachments and ideals. What good is friendship and teamwork and love when what he needs is to stand alone, to gain power on his own?

He needs to leave. He can't let himself be tied down like this anymore, constrained by the strings of these so called "bonds". All they do is make him **_weaker_**.

No. No, he's done now. He's done with all of it.

Orochimaru. Orochimaru can give him power. Sasuke… Sasuke can work with that. He refuses to become some kind of servant, refuses to let his will be taken over. He can overcome such tactics with ease.

Sasuke will go to him, to that bastard who dared to damage his… _not home_ … and he will **_take. He will take and take and he will not give in a single damn inch_**.

It made sense. Orochimaru had already proven himself stronger than Konoha, so Sasuke had more to gain from the snake sannin than he did from anywhere else. It's not like Sasuke needed any of what he was leaving behind in Konoha.

 ** _He doesn't._**

Decision made, Sasuke made for the village gates. It was mind-boggling, how necessarily lax village security was in this time. The borders were more heavily protected, he knows, but still. The fact that they can't even spare someone to man the gates…

 _How weak._

Unfortunate. He would have preferred a few chuunin to what actually awaited him.

Haruno Sakura was the epitome of what he despised about Konohagakure. She had potential that she refused to use. She only valued bonds and love when all that truly matters is power.

It's sickening.

And yet… she was also warm. Her smiles were bright, her rare moments of lucidity were valuable. She stayed by his side when he was hospitalized and somehow… she made the voice go quiet.

He didn't need her, he didn't need her feelings, but he does suppose that he doesn't quite… mind her presence. She had given herself to him, after all. It's understandable that he has something of a… soft spot for her. Not much of one, and he doesn't actually care about her, but…

"But Sasuke, aren't you just playing into _his_ hands, by leaving us like this?" she says and there is something in her voice that he can't quite place. He doesn't want to. How… how dare she criticize his actions, start talking about him as though she understands when she has never lost a single damn person, when she has both parents and a warm house?!

He opens his mouth to retort, to tell her that she's wrong, that she can't even begin to comprehend what is going through his mind when she raises her hand to cut him off, a gesture reminiscent of that utter bastard Kakashi.

"No -" _trembling and weak, and she thinks she can -_ "- just listen to me for a second here."

Listen to her? She wants _him_ to listen to _her_? Who did she think she was, commanding him like this, right now, in light of everything that's happened?

What, pray tell, made his leaving anything close to playing into _his_ hands?

(Sasuke refuses to think about all the times that Itachi had said that he was too weak, about how he has been pushed towards power by his need for vengeance his whole life. This is his desire, not the traitor's, he tells himself.)

Sasuke won't let himself be dragged down. He **_refuses. And if that means ridding himself of these distractions, permanently, then so be it -_**

He looks into those green, green eyes as he says so and god, why does that look, all that damn sadness, why does it bother him so much?

"Then...you're no better than he is."

And it all comes crashing down.

Sasuke can feel the breath get stolen out of his lungs, can feel his legs nearly give out beneath him. She's right, holy shit, she's right.

After all, is that not what Uchiha Itachi himself had done? Kill everyone who loved him for the sake of his goal, for the sake of power?

Sasuke had _meant_ it just now. He meant that he would kill his teammates for the sake of his goal. And that… and that had to be the most disgusting thought that he's ever had in his entire life, which admittedly… says a lot, when he really sits down to think about it.

How had he let himself go like this? What would he have done afterwards, spent his entire life being hunted down by the village?

What would there have been left for him, if he succeeded in killing Itachi, if he had killed those who still loved him? What kind of clan would he have been able to build?

She's right and Sasuke wishes that he had the energy left to hate her for it.

He looks around at the village sprawled out behind them. It's cold and broken looking, as if the entirety of the land had been swallowed up by the Uchiha District. When he looks around, he can see bodies on the street that aren't there, fresh blood stains on the building walls where they had been scrubbed away long before.

He can't stay here. But he can't leave her here either, he knows. He can't let Itachi have her, this annoying girl that's still too weak to defend herself properly. If that man can get into the village once… Sasuke has no doubt that he can do it again. Naruto, he can feel comfortable with leaving alone, Sakura… not so much.

He wants to have Naruto too, on some base, instinctual level that still desired all of Naruto's attention and competition, but he's been selfish enough, is being selfish enough by taking Sakura away instead of staying.

Naruto will be Hokage. He belongs here.

 _Does he? Isn't he your teammate? Isn't he_ _ **yours**_ _?_

Well, if Sasuke can get away with having both… he shouldn't protest too much, probably.

 **A/N**

 **Sasuke's a pretty sweet kid, honestly. He's just… a little fucked up in the head.**

 **Now that the mindsets of the characters have finally been established, the next chapter can focus on the actual plot of the story, which is very, very exciting.**

 **'Til next time, everyone!**


	4. Chapter 4

(ix)

They were walking together, side by side, her and her boys. There wasn't much distance between them - her and Naruto. Her and Sasuke.

If Sakura wanted to, she could reach out. Take their hands. Savor their warmth like the greedy sycophant she was - the weak little girl who had nothing more to offer than words and _feelings._

"We should write a letter," Sakura says. The words come out of her mouth, but in some ways she doesn't feel like she is the one saying them.

The speaker, she thinks, is the girl she was two months ago. The girl who still thought that books were the way to become a good kunoichi, the girl who pretended that she wasn't being neglected by the very man that was supposed to teach her how to not die.

He didn't. She still wonders as to how she's still alive, poor, delicate little blossom she was.

"A letter?" Sasuke questions, but it wasn't really a question. A prompt, more like. A small part of Sakura is thrilled at the fact that Sasuke wants to hear her thoughts, but a more nuanced Sakura crushes that part. She isn't allowed to be thrilled, she should be grateful.

After all, if someone had manipulated her the way that she had just manipulated him, she doubts that she would have ever wanted to hear a single word from their cursed lips.

Maybe she would have tried to sew them shut. She had always hated it, those sharp words that were crafted to hurt people. The ones that had been thrown at her, all those years ago were… dull. Worthless.

The ones that she had just shoved into Sasuke's heart? Oh, they were certainly true, but the best of knife-words were like that, her instructors had once said. Directed truths.

And honestly, this isn't even the first time that she had used them. Memories flash before her eyes.

 _Naruto_.

How many invisible kunai has she thrown at him over the years? How many times has she broken him, as she has broken Sasuke just now?

"Ne, Sakura-chan," Naruto interrupts her reverie. "You okay? You kinda just… spaced out there."

Sasuke is looking at her too, concerned? She doesn't know. But the worry is evident in Naruto's voice. After… after her betrayal, Sasuke and Naruto are all that she will have. She should take care not to worry him too much. Not to burden him too much. "I'm fine," she insists, shaking her head slightly as though a gentle push could rid her of the guilt that poisons her blood. As if. "We should write to Kakashi-sensei."

"Hn," Sasuke responds. Sakura can tell he doesn't approve. "We shouldn't leave any evidence."

"But," Naruto protests, latching on to her words as he often does, "- we can't just _leave_ and not tell him about it. He's our _sensei_!"

Sakura knows that she needs to do this, to write down her guilt and pass the burden. In some ways, she blames Hatake Kakashi for the situation she is in now.

Perhaps, perhaps if he had taught her to be a proper shinobi, as he undoubtedly is, then perhaps she might not have had to deal with this situation like a kunoichi.

But he didn't, so she hadn't. It was all pointless conjecture at this point.

Sakura wanted him to know, though. She wanted him to know what his _teaching_ had done. Call her vindictive, but she has never thought herself to be kind.

"Kakashi-sensei was called out on to a mission after you two tried to hurt each other," Sakura said. So had Jiraiya of the Sannin. There was lots of gossip to be heard in the hospital lobby. She didn't know how long they will be gone for, but it made sense - Konohagakure is hurting. If a ninja can be spared, then they are on a mission. Simple as that.

"Then he'll only find it after we're gone," Sasuke concluded. They were in the Uchiha district now, so isolated from the rest of the village. It was odd - the other clan compounds, Yamanaka and Nara and all the others, seemed to blend in seamlessly with the rest of Konoha. This place, however, was closed off. There was a wall with an equally imposing gate.

It was as if this place had never been a part of Konoha at all - a specter before it had ever died.

Sakura didn't like those implications.

Naruto nodded firmly, his teeth grazing his lip with anxiety. "Yeah, so there's no reason _not_ to. I… it's not like it's going to be hard to guess, y'know."

Sasuke caught his eyes for a moment. There was some kind of an understanding between them, one that Sakura wasn't privy to. That was fine.

She wasn't worthy of it anyways, the right to intrude upon this, the right to intrude upon the connection between them, this Sasuke that she had bent to her will and this Naruto that she had barely even tried to convince to stay and become Hokage.

The timing was perfect. Orochimaru had decimated Konoha's forces - the invasion had stripped them of half of their shinobi forces. Half of those that remained were in recovery, unable to do much beyond lay in their hospital beds as the Hokage and the other medics performed surgeries and other miracles at a slug's pace. Few remained to patrol the village walls, most having been called to the borders of the Land of Fire.

Konoha is weak. Other villages are bound to take advantage of that - attack the civilian towns, perhaps even target Fire's monarchy. Konoha has an obligation, thus it has priorities.

But no matter how many ninja were at the borders now, Sakura reasoned, there was bound to be a weakness. Just a small gap in the security, caused by low personnel and distressing conditions.

It would only be too easy to leave now.

Sasuke led them to a building, somewhere southwest of the entrance to the district. There was a huge manor towering over them, towards the center of the land.

Sasuke's building was nowhere near it.

His apartment was on the fifth floor, the highest one. It wasn't too big and it was sparsely decorated.

Nothing there suggested that it was inhabited by a twelve year old, but Sakura saw Sasuke everywhere in her surroundings.

"They'll check this place first," Sasuke said, practically flitting around as she and Naruto stood and watched. His slim hands moved deftly, pulling out paper and gauze and a pack. Weapons and creams.

Sakura stifled her laughter. He really had been unprepared.

Naruto looked around in wonder. Sakura knew that he knew where Sasuke's apartment was, having off-handed lay mentioned that he once tracked the other boy down here to pull a prank, but Sakura doubted that he had ever been here.

Sakura doubts that he had ever been to a friend's house at all.

There was a table towards the side of the living room, not too big - it could probably fit four people. A mother, a father and two sons, maybe.

"May I?" Sakura asks, turning to the table. Sasuke nods, his gaze indescribable. Naruto sits down with her, taking Sasuke's answer for blanket permission. "So… what are we going to write?"

"That we left," Sasuke answers, curt. He sat down next to Naruto, bringing the paper with him. "What else is there to say?"

"That…" Naruto says, at a loss. The quiet only lasts a second before his eyes light up, indignant fire in the clear blue. "That we're sorry, duh! He said that those who abandon their comrades are worse than trash and we're… we're—"

"No," Sakura cuts in, more sharply than she had thought herself capable of before. "No, we're not. We're not trash."

They weren't really, were they? After all, Sakura had been abandoned by everyone first. Her parents had never seriously supported her goal to become a ninja - ambitionless career genin that they were. They had some training, but mainly did civilian jobs unless there was some kind of work that wasn't worth giving to those with potential to be done.

So they let her think that it was more important to be pretty than to train, that she didn't need to be strong in all the right ways. After all, they had only thought her to be as capable as them. They never thought that she had wanted _more._

In some ways, they had hurt her just like Kakashi-sensei had, with their warmth and love and patronizing words.

Even if Sakura was on the road to repairing her friendship with Ino, that didn't change the fact that Ino had thought that the friendship that had once been Sakura's lifeline was worth less than her silly crush on Sasuke.

Funny, how that had turned out. Now, it was Sakura who thought Ino to be worth less than what she felt for Sasuke.

She didn't have anyone else, anyone that hadn't left her to die, but Naruto and Sasuke. She wasn't doing anything to anyone that hadn't already done it to her first.

"Yes, we are," Naruto argues back hotly. "I, I know we gotta go, for Sasuke, but there are so many people that we're leaving behind! Like Iruka-sensei and old man Teuchi and Ayame and -"

He continues to list off names and it occurs to Sakura how different they are. How bright Naruto is and how naive he is, the way that he doesn't realize that all of those bonds that he's listing off only apply to him.

They belong solely to Uzumaki Naruto, not Uchiha Sasuke and Haruno Sakura. Perhaps they share Kakashi-sensei, but not really. He had never really been hers to begin with.

"Write it, then," Sasuke drawls, interrupting Naruto's heated rambling. "Say it, if that's all you can think of."

This seems to throw Naruto for a loop, but he nods wordlessly and begins to write in his messy handwriting. _Dear Kakashi-sensei. Sorry we're trash._

Sakura takes the pen from his hands. _But you'll be happy to know we're still together, right? We aren't abandoning each other, at least,_ she writes and if she focuses hard enough then she can see the accusation that she has written beneath the lines.

The pen is passed to Sasuke. _You taught us enough._

Did he, really? Sakura doesn't think so.

Naruto takes the pen again with a shuddering breath. He began their letter, so it is only right that he finishes it. _See you again, sometime, Sensei_.

They get up and Sasuke grabs his pack. There are no words exchanged between the members of Team Seven as they head through the door. The letter remains on the table.

Sasuke locks the door behind them and leaves the keys in the door.

* * *

"Orochimaru's men attacked me earlier," Sasuke explains once they get past the gate. It was disgustingly easy. "They were… powerful. They offered to escort me to him."

Sakura nods. Of course Sasuke hadn't just up and decided to leave on his own - he was more receptive to the suggestions of others than he thought. "We'll meet them on the way to the border, right?"

"Probably," Sasuke agrees. Naruto frowns. "So… we don't actually know where we're going? The border… it's pretty big."

Sasuke shakes his head. "They'll find us."

Sakura doesn't doubt it either.

It only took a few minutes for Sasuke to be proven right.

"You aren't alone," the leader notes with some interest. "Orochimaru-sama hadn't warned us about that."

They were hideous, Sakura thought. One had far too many arms. Another, one too many heads. She doesn't want to know what is wrong with the more normal-looking two.

"They're my team," Sasuke says, a note of finality to his tone. "We go together, or not at all."

"Funny," the woman notes. "Orochimaru-sama said that _we_ are going to be your team, now."

Naruto bristles, immediately leaping in front of Sasuke. "Your _Orochimaru-sama_ can say whatever the hell he wants, but he can't—"

"Naruto," Sasuke interrupts. Naruto turns to him, incredulous. "Sasuke, you can't honestly be thinking—"

"Of course not," he admonishes, turning back to the Sound Four. "What do you mean by that?"

"Orochimaru-sama has decided that you are to be our leader… Sasuke-sama." Sakura finds their subservience suspicious. She brushes her finger against Sasuke's and he looks at her from the corner of his eyes. She hopes that her eyes can convey her doubts.

"I see," Sasuke says. Sakura prays that he truly does. "In that case, my first order is that Naruto and Sakura be treated as you would treat me."

Sakura didn't trust them. They had opened the conversation by apologizing to Sasuke for attacking him before, but Sakura didn't think they were sorry at all. In fact, if Sasuke's words earlier had been anything to go by, they had beaten him.

Why would they be so subservient now? Orochimaru, of course. They seemed to be very, very loyal to Orochimaru.

So they were probably acting out some kind of plan. One that hadn't counted on the presence of her and Naruto, sure, but a plan nonetheless.

Sakura continued to eye them warily.

The leader, the one with the two heads, eyed her and Naruto disdainfully, but was nothing but polite otherwise. "We understand, Sasuke-sama. Naruto-sama. Sakura-sama."

Sakura couldn't help but feel as though the monstrosity was mocking them, but Sasuke didn't seem to notice. Naruto's jaw dropped - she doubted that he had ever been referred to with such honorifics - a mere _san_ had probably been rare.

That wasn't good. This is a hostile situation. Naruto can't afford to be so open with his emotions. She dug her fingernails into his wrist. He turns to her and sees the warning in her eyes. His expression steels.

They travel quietly. Several hours later, the Sound Four stop. Sasuke demands to know why.

"Sasuke-sama," the woman began. Her hair was a darker shade of pink than Sakura's and oddly enough, it only added to Sakura's distrust of her. "We need to give you this pill - the Mind Awakening Pill."

She holds it out. Sakura barely restrains herself from attempting to cut the woman's hand off.

"It will allow your seal to advance to the next stage," another adds. Sakura doesn't remember who's speaking—her eyes are trained onto the pill. "You will reach a new level of power, just like we have."

Sakura doesn't think that any power is worth becoming monsters like them, but there is a slight shift in Sasuke's expression. She doesn't like it.

"He's not taking it," Naruto snaps. "Right, Sasuke? You can't just take a pill from them like this."

Sakura agrees wholeheartedly. Sasuke doesn't—his eyes are starting to glaze just a bit. "That power… is what I'm seeking from Orochimaru in the first place, Naruto."

"You don't know that that's what it actually is, though," Sakura counters. Naruto nods frantically. "You can't just trust them like this, bastard! It could be poison or something!"

"Orochimaru-sama needs Sasuke-sama alive and well," came a sharp retort. Sakura wants to shove those words back into the monster's throat. "He has no reason to lie or inflict any harm upon Sasuke-sama."

Sakura seriously doubts that. "Sasuke," she warns. Like the fucking idiot that he is, Sasuke ignores her ( _as always_ ) and takes the pill.

The Sound Four use a jutsu then, too quickly for Team Seven to be able to counter it or stop them, on Sasuke.

He grows drowsy, weak. Naruto catches him in his arms as Sakura draws a kunai.

One of the monsters unseals a large, Sasuke-sized container. "Sasuke-sama will need to rest as the pill does its work. We will carry him in this."

Naruto growls, but Sakura has no choice but to agree. They couldn't take these monsters, not now.

"We won't leave you behind," it says. "Sasuke-sama's will will be carried out."

"It better," Sakura mutters.

* * *

They don't make it to the border before they are intercepted.

There are two shinobi from Konoha - jounin. Sakura doesn't know their names.

Their eyes catch on Naruto. "Kid," one says, "you don't know what you're doing here."

Oh, but Sakura does. The letter, their presence here, is damning. If they were to return to Konoha, Sasuke and Naruto are valuable enough to get away with just being put on house-arrest.

Sakura would likely get worse. Who knows. She is a traitor.

There is nothing left for them in Konoha, not anymore. Naruto can no longer be Hokage, they can no longer be ninja. Traitors are handled with prejudice—there is no place in Konohagakure for disloyalty.

What happens next is a blur. She vaguely recalls one of the Sound Four shouting at them to take the container and run, they will handle these two shinobi. Sakura doesn't doubt that he will.

There is talk of securing them, Sakura and Naruto, between the jounin. Sakura doesn't listen to it much. They had to go, now.

So they turn and flee, and Sakura understands that they have to get to their destination immediately. Whether Konoha is weak now or not, it will not take well to their jinchuuriki's disappearance.

Part of her wants to go back and face her punishment. But then again, she doesn't want to have to see Naruto and Sasuke caged, if she can ever see them again at all.

She doesn't want to hear Ino ask her why, she doesn't want to see her parents' disappointment.

She doesn't want to be damned by Kakashi's one-eyed stare. She isn't trash and she won't let him tell her that she is.

She hasn't abandoned Sasuke and Naruto, right? Right. She may have abandoned the village, but what has the village ever done for her? Nothing, when she really thinks about it, now that she is no longer so attached to it.

So, she runs. She and Naruto take the container and they run.

Naruto's eyes are filled with a sort of grim determination. She imagines that he has come to the same conclusion she has.

So they run and they run and they run. Orochimaru is in the Land of Rice—she knows the direction.

Eventually, the Sound Four catches up to them. They had one, but they were completely exhausted—she could see it in their bones.

They decide to split up—three of the four staying behind to rest and stop any more Konoha teams, one coming with the far less-tired Sakura and Naruto and Sasuke's container to Orochimaru.

They make it to the border without much incident.

* * *

 _Years later, Haruno Sakura looks in the mirror and almost wishes there had been._

* * *

 **A/N**

 **As fun as it would have been to write out the entirety of the Sasuke-retrieval arc, strategically speaking the addition of Naruto and Sakura to the group invalidates the need for** _ **all**_ **Sound Four to have been resting, thus ensuring that the team sent by Konoha wouldn't have been able to catch up to our darling traitors before they made it into Orochimaru's clutches.**

 **Don't worry, though. We'll be seeing plenty of our favorite Konoha ninja eventually.**

 **Please tell me what you guys thought!**


End file.
